Although I am touched by ALL reader comments, yesterday a few comments actually brought me to the point of near bawling. My hubby even had to come to the computer and see what was wrong (right) with me because I was just so emotional. So imagine how hard it was for me to continue writing after that, especially yesterday's love scene. lol.
In case anyone is interested in what sent me over the edge, here goes...
I was going to send this post to you privately, but later decided to post it on your blog incase you thought it would be a blessing to your readers as well.
I am glad that you invited me you read with everyone, and I am even more glad that I accepted the invitation, because God is showing me sooo much stuff! And I love an opportunity to grow! (giggle)
Here is another lesson that I just got from this book….
I trust God! I TRULY trust God!
Normally, I am only trying to trust him, or hoping that I trust him, or even choosing to trust him…
but now I can honestly say with my whole entire heart that:
I lean on… confidently rely upon… and trust God!!!
How liberating it is to ACTUALLY trust him and not only WANT to trust him!! I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders!
Okay, you may be wondering… how has my book helped you to better trust God??? Well I will share…
After reading your last post I went back into my room and contemplated how UTERRLY IRRITATED I was with these characters and how the answers were RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES and yet they just could not seem to find their way out of their problems. I felt like jumping inside the book slapping each of them in the face, turning them in the ‘right’ direction and kicking them in their respective butts to get them moving!!!
Then I wondered… is that how God feels?
Does he get frustrated with me because I have answers right in front of my face but don’t even realize it? Does God want to kick me in my but to get me moving in the right direction? But because he has given me a free will and therefore a right to choose, he must constantly watch me make bad choice after bad choice, when all that I have ever wanted for my life is just two feet…heck…two inches from my grasp!?!?
Nooooo… SURELY, I am NOT as CONFUSED as Prina’s characters…. I mean… I am WAY better off then they are. Right? Or… maybe I just THINK that I am.
All this time I thought that I was waiting on God to change some things in my life!!! BUT NOW I REALIZE THAT HE IS WAITING ON ME!!!! OMG! God is waiting on me! What don’t I see? What haven’t I let go of? (Like Tonja) Where is MY pride? (Like Millsap) Where is MY vanity? Where are MY wrong motives? (Like Cami)
So what does this mean??
It mean I need HELP! I need help to see what I don’t see!
It means from now on I am going to RELAX! I am going to listen to the Holy Ghost. I am going to trust God to show me what I don’t see. Essentially, I am going to allow God to turn me in the right direction and get me on my way.
Because if Tonja, Mike-Mike, Cami, and Millsap are too foolish not to see what is right in front of them… then I AM PROBABLY JUST THAT FOOLISH TOO… I just don’t know it and need God’s help to see it.
I trust God. I trust that he will give me the desires of my heart. I trust that he is perfecting those things that concern me. I trust that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
So why am I not there yet??
I don’t know? Maybe there is something I don’t see. Maybe there is something that needs to be worked out in me. Maybe there is a situation coming that he is preparing me for. (Like Cami and her mother). I know who does know though…. G-O-D! and I trust him to show me. I trust him to lead and guide me in the way that I should go.
What ever it is… I trust that God loves me. I trust that I will come out. I trust that I will overcome. I trust that I will be victorious. Most of all I trust that I will get everything I have ever asked of him, if I just hold on and allow him to REVEAL to me what I may not already see!
(With tears in my eyes) Thanks Prina… now I understand why you always say…. “I just trust God”. I get it. Thanks! “I just trust God too!”
Much Love Always
Then Subrina said:
Oh Joy you are bring me such JOY by reading your comments. Your words are weaved with wisdom and the anointing. What you just said spoke directly to me and I praise God for you sharing your feelings with us.
And then Paula said:
Joy thank you for sharing your revelation with us. WE ALL GREATLY APPREICIATE IT!
I felt the same way when I first started reading Delia's Story. I have become addicted to Suprina's Sermons. I love how her stories always manifest some truth in my life and has caused me to become a little more humble.
REMEMBER I TYPED IN ALL CAPS DURING DELIA'S STORY.
SUPRINA has brought me closer to GOD than anyone else. I am still a work in progress but I am now a believer in GOD.
Thank you Suprina!
And then I was crying, trying not to outright bawl! I thank y’all for that particular comment thread because it confirmed once again that I was doing what I was called to do – minister through the written word via romance novels.
To know that people are getting such revelations, are becoming closer to God, are getting so blessed by the stories I write was/is such a blessing to me. It suddenly explained so many things, particularly why I get attacked in certain areas of my life so much. Now I understand that it is all to keep the message from getting out, from being a blessing, from causing people to get closer to God.
Okay, starting to get emotional again…
Thanks again, y’all!