The last weekend in September, Millsap took Cami up to
“I feel like my daddy is just waiting for me to mess up again,” Cami shared from her comfortable first-class seat. “And even though I understand why he feels that way, I just wish he wouldn’t always measure everything I do by what my mother did. Especially since I’m trying really hard not to be like her now.”
Millsap nodded in understanding. “I don’t want to be like either of my parents. My father is gay and on the wimpy side. For all his PhD smarts, he couldn’t tell you where to find a backbone to save his life. My mother is bisexual, domineering, and as materialistic as they come. Raised on the streets, she thinks she has all the backbones of the world and will try to charge a bull just to prove that she can. Mama calls my father by the name Sapp and not just as a nickname either, but as a play on words for how weak he is. The whole thing gets on my nerves and makes me wonder how they ever got together in the first place or stayed together for as long as they did.” He frowned. “Because of them, I never want to get married or have kids.”
Cami’s eyes bucked. “Okay, you just said a mouthful then. In the short time we’ve been together, I’ve learned that you’re a little league coach, have a college degree, and not only own half of several nightclubs, but also a lot of real estate, too. Now you’re telling me that you have gay and bisexual parents and that you don’t want to have any kids?” She didn’t mention the marriage thing since she already knew where he stood on that issue months ago.
“Right. Got problems with any of that?” Millsap asked, watching her intently.
“Only the part about you not wanting to have kids. I kinda wanted a little girl one day,” Cami replied, hinting at the fact that she wanted longevity with him and hoped to have that child by him some day. For her, marriage didn’t have to come with that child. Maybe one day, but not now. Besides, Cami hadn’t been married to Little Man’s father when she got pregnant with him.
Millsap shook his head. “With parents like mine, no way would I bring kids into this world. Pop and Mama were lousy parents. They constantly fought over me and everything else. Constantly competed for my affection. And always tried to undermine the other in my eyes. Even when I visit them now, they always try to talk negative about the other.” He shook his head again. “No, I can’t have a child of mine going through that kind of drama like I did. That’s probably why I’m so attracted to women with kids. With them, I can fulfill my need to father a child without feeling obligated to expose that child to my messed up parents.”
“So your parents’ sexual orientations have nothing to do with your decision to remain childless?”
“Not at all. Or rather not as much,” Millsap admitted honestly, telling her things he had never shared with anyone else. “I’ve found that kids of openly gay or lesbian parents have to be tougher than most of their peers and very, very secure within themselves. Otherwise people will have you hating your parents, yourself, and questioning your own sexuality. Plus, I can’t tell you how many school fights I got into because somebody called one of my parents some homophobic name.” His frown deepened at those painful memories. Sadness entered his eyes.
Cami’s eyes grew sad, too, for multiple reasons. “Little Man got in a few fights because of me, too. I shamed him by going to prison. I shamed him again when I got a little buck wild after getting out of prison. Actually a lot of buck wild.”
Forgetting about his own pain, Millsap pulled her into his comforting embrace. “Well, you won’t shame your boy on this trip. Your daddy neither. In fact, while we’re here, we’re both gonna talk a little more ed-ja-ma-cated since you told me how much your father likes articulate people.” He chuckled softly at his own wit.
Cami burst out laughing, causing others nearby to look her way. “Sorry,” she quickly apologized to the people around her. “See what you made me do?” she whispered to Millsap as she poked him in the side with an elbow.
Millsap grinned, his hard frame not even fazed by that poke. “Don’t blame me because you forgot to use your inside voice.” He chuckled softly again.
“Whatever, man.” Cami rolled her eyes. “By the way, it was my father that got me to finally stop cussing. Yet it was Dee and Little Man that got me to tone down my slang, which I still love to sprout at times.”
Millsap smiled. “I like slang, too. But like my mother, I know when to use it. I also know when to use my inside voice,” he said, returning to his earlier teasing mode.
Cami poked him in the side again. “Just for that, you ain’t getting none on this trip,” she whispered very close to his left ear.
“I wasn’t getting none anyway, remember? You’re staying at your father’s house this weekend. I’m staying at a hotel,” he whispered back.
“I was going to sneak to your hotel room after they’d gone to sleep,” Cami shared her intentions for this weekend.
Millsap winced, as if in real pain now. “Is it too late to say I’m sorry?”
Cami chuckled more softly this time. “No, but be quick about it before I change my mind.”
“I’m sorry, baby,” Millsap replied, turning to meet her gaze head-on now.
Heat shot through Cami’s body at the passionate look he gave her. “I’ll be at your room by , okay?” she said, recalling how her father and son were both early-to-bed folks.
“Okay,” Millsap replied, before capturing her lips for a brief, yet fervent kiss, despite their public setting.
© 2008 by Suprina Frazier