Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Delia's Day - Pt. 4

Joy asked: Delia, for so many women it is difficult to recover from a negative relationship not to mention, manage hope that they can even find a better one if they do choose to move on. What advice would you give to other women to help them move on from a negative relationship?

Delia’s reply: Joy, that is a hard question. First of all, I believe I had supernatural help to move on from E-Blade. That had to be it, because I truly didn’t want to move on. I was stuck in the past, married to my regrets, and had closed my heart to loving any other man than the one I wanted (even though he was no longer in the picture and had stopped being good FOR me a long time ago).

But then I made one significant step – I physically moved to a new town. In this new town was where I met Royal. That gorgeous man seemed on a mission from God to help me get past the whole E-Blade mess. Through Royal’s love, patience, and overall longsuffering, I was finally able to move on. Finally able to let the man I thought I wanted go and fully embrace the man I was always meant to have. But it took a long time, Joy. A real long time.

Since my experiences might not be typical, the only advice I can offer to help women move on is to hook the reins of your heart up to God. To let Him lead your emotions where they should go. I also advise that you throw yourself in the Word and stay there. To practice stuff like thought-substitution where every time you think about that other man, you substitute that thought with something else. Something more positive. Something less painful.

Joy asked: What advice would you give to encourage a woman to hope again for a better love?

Delia’s reply: Quite honestly, I had no hope for a better love when I met Royal. I had hope for a better life for my kids, but hope for a better love was not even an option for me. Joy, I LEARNED to hope for a better love. It didn’t come easy for me. But just like learning a new language or a new dance, you have to practice hoping.

How do you practice hoping?
~ By reading the success stories (testimonials) of others.
~ By making confessions contrary to the despair that you’re feeling concerning your love life.
~ By surrounding yourself with people who are optimist and allowing the hope that’s oozing from them to saturate you.
~ By remembering that when Adam missed up, God had a Plan B (Jesus) - which was a much better plan. Which also means God can give you a better man than the first one.

Thanks for asking such thought-provoking questions, Joy. I really had to think hard to give you quality answers, which I hope I did.

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